Every bride wants a perfect wedding day but with such a large celebration certain things will go wrong. When you decide on a wedding date to for the ceremony you want the perfect day. But mistakes do happen!
Over the years, after organising many important celebrations I have picked the most important eight mistakes that you should try to avoid or try not to make.
1. Having Embarrassing Speeches
The speeches at the reception are pretty important and often people want to say important things to you and your partner. Sometimes you might get someone with a strong personality who could embarrass or make fun of you. So let’s try and take the stress out of unwanted surprises such as listing all your old boyfriends or those moments you don’t want your parents to know about. Ami from The Frisky has 5 Tips For Giving A Kick Ass Wedding Speech that has some excellent tips You can ask people to make a speech at your wedding with a time limit and give them plenty of notice to prepare ~ Read excellent tips about Who Should Make A Speech At Your Wedding blog post . Most importantly, nominate someone to read the speeches before your wedding day so it can be edited out. Lastly put a time limit on each speech so someone doesn’t hijack the moment.
2. Being Obsessively Involved
All I can say is delegate ~ delegate ~ and more delegating. Don’t do everything yourself! Sure you think in the end it will save you money but when you are still sewing a dress for your flower girl to wear or you are still writing out table names at the last hour then you will be too exhausted to enjoy the wedding. If you have quite a few people attending a sit down reception, get a caterer and a heap of young adults to serve alcohol and food. At one event, I was
- Decorating the hall,
- Making invitations
- Organising and designing a cake,
- Sewing outfits,
- Hiring casual staff to serve,
- Creating place names for everyone,
- Organising the entertainment,
- Picking up the food as well as table settings and
- Meeting the ice cream machine and jukebox vendors.
There is only one of you but there are plenty of other people to help you even it if is other family members. Don’t be afraid to ask. Again try to keep everything simple as possible.Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
3. Not being a Diva!
I don’t recommend being a diva but there comes a time when you just need to put on your diva hat to make sure people don’t rip you off. At my wedding, the videographer lost the sound to my speech! He blamed the kids ~ my cousins and I thought he was telling me the truth. It was a pretty important speech as I talked about my mother who wasn’t there to celebrate one of the most special occasions in my life. I stupidly paid him for his job because I really wanted the footage and didn’t think I can negotiate. After I paid and watched it through I found out that he had substituted our wedding dance song for another. It was depressing as I had not hired a photographer to document the day but had hired him so we would have live footage of that time. I want you to stand up for your rights as a consumer. There are wedding specialists out there that don’t care whether they give great services and have no conscience about ripping you off. Guard your self as much as possible by paying half now and half later or writing a statement for them to sign. Try to get everything in writing including using emails and text messages. If a family member or friend is doing something for you with payment involved, get something in writing that you can use…these days even sending them a text asking if they are okay to make you cake with a particular flower theme and have asking them to sign off. I had a cake maker that didn’t want to make my wedding cake with roses but was willing to make me orchids. She told me roses would make the cake collapse. Unfortunately I didn’t disagree and be a diva about it!
These are my tips:
- Read everything that is put in front of you or go over it together as a couple.
- Get everything in writing.
- Try to negotiate as much as possible.
- Organise a simple contract even if involves friends and family doing a service.
- Check everything before you pay for it including photos and video footage.
- Get copies of your contracts and receipts
- Document everything! ~ Including taking photos of issues from the cake to wedding dress etc.
- If they can’t deliver what you want ~ find someone who can!
- And be a diva when you need to be!
4. Inviting Total Strangers!
This is probably my ultimate annoying thing for weddings. My family was very small but my husband’s family was HUGE! His father had seven other siblings and they all had children. I was looking at around the 300 that included my measly 25 people. Now, I did not mind about this amount as I knew most of them and had met them. But as I was making the invitations, I would get requests for my father in law for people I had not heard of. And as I asked, he hadn’t talked to them in quite a while. The other thing is when people bring along their new girlfriend/boyfriend that you haven’t catered for. Luckily we had it around Easter and everyone went away for that weekend so I only had a 150 guests. So I ask you to keep an eye on that invitation list and really invite the people that have meaning in your life to your wedding.
5. Not preparing to feed the mob, your families, friends and the dog!
It is better to order more food then you think you need. If you are getting it catered and they know what they are doing then they will cater more than enough. At one event, we did not have enough food to feed all of the people and while the party people were only supposed to take a small amount of special noodles, it is probably better to control it as best as you can. Sit down dinners are hard and even harder if you have people with dietary requirements. These days you can include a little check list on your invite to see if anyone needs this. If you live in Cairns, Australia then I would recommend Alfresco Catering who do an excellent job catering to your needs. The food was really tasty and was still hot the next day as he gives you these special warmers for the food. In Cairns, if you need to hire tables, chairs, tablecloths, plates,urns and cutlery ~ Underwood Party Hire is the place to go. They are brilliant as they delivered the day before and all we had to do was setup everything the next morning. You go online and check out everything they hire and prices.
6. Being Unorganised!
From the time that you have set that date, you need to get out a folder and start writing lists. Lists of vendors, guest list, food list, bridesmaid and grooms list with their sizes for outfits etc. Then you need to cross reference this with a diary or your calendar on your phone or ipad. Lastly set yourself a budget and try to stick to it. Be creative in getting what you want. Ask someone if they will help you and keep you on task.Figure out the major events first like
- date of the wedding
- venues for ceremony /reception
- how many guests including family members
- type of food ~ sit down or standing
- outfits for the wedding party
- and then a list for all the other stuff like speeches ~music ~ photos ~ special dances ~ getting to the wedding and a contingency plan if it rains.
7. Being Obsessively Involved!
If you want the perfect wedding it is not going to happen if you are trying to control everything and everybody. When you hold on so tight you want to look over everyone’s shoulder, it will drive you to madness. Then, you will be a mess! When an issue comes up, do some deep breathe and work out whether you can modify the problem to still get what you want.
Is it still going to give a similar experience? Come to terms with imperfections like if the cake suddenly does a Leaning Tower of Pisa ~ there is not a lot you can do about it except make fun of it. It will still taste amazing! Make choices that are right for you so happy.
8.In the last hour you need to let it go!
When you are about to get dressed and your bridesmaid gets bright lip stick on your dress ~ try not to stress or get angry…it’s fixable by a little soap and water. When people are still ringing you up to tell you that you have four guests turning up that you haven’t invited ~ it’s fixable by not worrying about it. Ask them to deal with it. When you realise that there is a 95% chance that it might rain on your ceremony ~ tell yourself not to worry. There might be a covered area close by or your family and friends might be able to gather a heap of umbrellas. You can even plan to nominate a person to be the ‘fix it’ person.
At the end of the day your family and friends really want you to have a magical day together with love and laughter.
Are you ready to overcome anything that goes wrong on the day? Yes you can think positively and believe in that fairytale wedding.
And here are a few things to make you feel beautiful….
fkower earrings that decorate your ear
elegant shoes that can keep you dancing all night….
an interesting titanium wooden wedding ring….
and a great planning book that many brides have used…..